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Todays random thought

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26 Re: Todays random thought on February 9th 2012, 9:27 pm

U&V~BL!TZ

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a Lysol commercial just told me to disinfect the thing I touch the most.... I think this is gonna burn. =/



27 Re: Todays random thought on February 9th 2012, 9:31 pm

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Shocked affraid ROFL8

28 Re: Todays random thought on February 9th 2012, 10:38 pm

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You might be a redneck if there's 2 golf carts in your front yard but you've never played golf.



U&V~BL!TZ


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29 Re: Todays random thought on February 9th 2012, 10:57 pm

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An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut, buthe tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks arewrinkled from age.

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf andtells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was thecleanest shave he's had in years.

But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowedthat little ball.

The barber replied, "Just bring it back in a couple of dayslike everyone else does."



U&V~BL!TZ


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30 Re: Todays random thought on February 9th 2012, 11:18 pm

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wow, thats probably one of the nastiest jokes i've heard all year

31 Re: Todays random thought on February 9th 2012, 11:25 pm

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U&V~Jet King wrote:becuase fat doesn´t fuck up your driving

No, but it does make for a very long and uncomfortable flight when their fat spills over into your seat!!!

32 Re: Todays random thought on February 18th 2012, 11:29 pm

U&V~BL!TZ

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thinking that television producers should introduce the people from American Pickers to the people from Hoarders.



33 Re: Todays random thought on February 19th 2012, 12:04 am

U&V~LoZGod

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im getting tired of movies with happy endings but when i see a movie with a sad ending i feel bad and want a happy ending...



34 Re: Todays random thought on February 19th 2012, 2:52 pm

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You mean "Happy Ending" like a massage "HE?" ROFL8

~~~~~Don't we all~~~~

35 Re: Todays random thought on February 21st 2012, 10:49 pm

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Eagles may sore, but weasles won't get sucked up into jet engines...

36 Re: Todays random thought on October 21st 2013, 11:06 am

U&V~BL!TZ

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3 things I've learned about getting older :

1) never pass up a chance to take a nap
2) never waste a erection
3) never trust a fart



37 Re: Todays random thought on October 21st 2013, 1:03 pm

U&V~Chef

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haha nice



38 Re: Todays random thought on October 21st 2013, 3:04 pm

U&V~LoZGod

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words of wisdom from blitz



39 Re: Todays random thought on October 21st 2013, 3:31 pm

U&V~ApexPredator

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holy crap when was this posted O_o



40 Re: Todays random thought on October 22nd 2013, 12:24 pm

XxToxicAngelXx

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blitz you had me laughing, my cheeks hurt now.....



}" />Toxic Angel
                            



Still everyone's Angel <3

41 Re: Todays random thought on October 22nd 2013, 5:43 pm

XxToxicAngelXx

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a father cooks some deer and doesnt tell the kids what it is. he gives one clue. its what your mother calls me. the boy yells...its a fucking dick, dont eat it!!!!!



}" />Toxic Angel
                            



Still everyone's Angel <3

42 Re: Todays random thought on October 23rd 2013, 3:38 am

XxToxicAngelXx

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A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, “What are all those clocks?”

St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”

“Oh,” said the man, “whose clock is that?”

“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”

“Incredible,” said the man.

“That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life,” St. Peter informed him.

“Where’s Obama’s clock?”

“His clock is in Jesus’s office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”



}" />Toxic Angel
                            



Still everyone's Angel <3

43 Re: Todays random thought on October 23rd 2013, 3:41 am

XxToxicAngelXx

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Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.



}" />Toxic Angel
                            



Still everyone's Angel <3

44 Re: Todays random thought on October 23rd 2013, 3:28 pm

U&V~ApexPredator

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wow toxic is just talking and talking and talking lol



45 Re: Todays random thought on October 23rd 2013, 10:41 pm

XxToxicAngelXx

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once i get started i cant stop!!!!!



}" />Toxic Angel
                            



Still everyone's Angel <3

46 Re: Todays random thought on October 24th 2013, 7:30 am

U&V~ApexPredator

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well then shush hahahahaha



47 Re: Todays random thought on October 24th 2013, 3:48 pm

XxToxicAngelXx

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ill try but no guarentees !!!!!!



}" />Toxic Angel
                            



Still everyone's Angel <3

48 Re: Todays random thought on October 24th 2013, 10:52 pm

XxToxicAngelXx

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The other night I was invited out for a night with the "girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him "MIDNIGHT"... he didn't seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh shit" Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed



}" />Toxic Angel
                            



Still everyone's Angel <3

49 Re: Todays random thought on October 24th 2013, 10:56 pm

XxToxicAngelXx

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A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and
you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little
Johnny.
"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking."
Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three
women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking
the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling
down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of
the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like
your thinking."



}" />Toxic Angel
                            



Still everyone's Angel <3

50 Re: Todays random thought on October 25th 2013, 7:41 am

U&V~ApexPredator

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and shes off again! just keep on posting hahahahaha



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